Tales from the Wood – The Diary of a Badger Watching Man

I’m getting a little worried about the decline in moral standards on this blog.  I seem to have become fixated on badger genitalia.  It’s only a matter of time before someone sends a letter to the Daily Mail – “My daughter was researching a school project on badgers and all she found was a video of badger testicles – why don’t the government ban this sick filth now?!”

So, in an attempt to raise the tone, here is a pair of amusing, educational and morally instructive stories sent in by readers about drunk badgers.

The first was found by Mungo:

A badger in Germany got so drunk on over-ripe cherries it staggered into the middle of a road and refused to budge.

A motorist called police near the central town of Goslar to report a dead badger on a road – only for officers to turn up and discover the animal alive and well, but drunk.

Police discovered the nocturnal beast had eaten cherries from a nearby tree which had turned to alcohol and given the badger diarrhoea.

Having failed to scare the animal away, officers eventually chased it from the road with a broom.

Oh, the mental images this conjours up!  The second story is a more personal experience from Josie:

A friend of mine runs a wildlife hospital and one night he received a call about an injured badger and fox lying in someones front garden, close to a road.

When he arrived he found the pair to be uninjured but blind drunk – both of them staggering around the place after gorging themselves on fermenting apples from a nearby orchard.

It was too unsafe to leave the drunk & disorderly pair so close to the road so they were gently guided into a cage with the aid of a walking stick.

By the time they arrived at the hospital the badger was snoring loudly.
The wildlife hospital provided them with bed and ‘breakfast’ and then they were released back on their home patch the following evening – after they had slept their hangovers off!

That was one little badger that had a brilliant “you will never guess what happened to me the other night” tale to tell his mates back at the sett!

Thanks for these, guys.  This is exactly what this blog was created for – sharing stories about drunk animals.  Now, if anyone has any video on this subject I’ll use it to really lower the tone…